Macbeth - 1976

This is a brilliant version of Macbeth for two main reasons. Ian McKellen and Judi Dench.

Ian McKellen's Macbeth is superb. Subtle and full of treachery but also quick to anger and filled with a painful remorse over his actions, this made him a very easy to understand and made for a really moving performance.

Judi Dench gave Lady Macbeth all the power and ferociousness she needs, whilst underneath you could sense a certain anguish and fear at what she was commanding her husband to do, and this turned plausibly into her madness at the end. As a result she was both intimidating and sympathetic, the perfect mixture.

These are truly two of the greats and ought to be remembered as such.

The staging of the piece was very interesting, with no set and everything appearing in darkness, this really helped set the tone of the play and made for some very intense scenes. This was complimented by the costumes which had a lot of dark colours that made the characters merge with their own dark natures.

If I were to complain about one thing I'd say the Weird Sisters who I felt to be a pretty dull interpretation, much as McKellen did make the second prophecy scene quite intense they just didn't seem to have any real menace to them, which I think they should have.

All in all a very strong production of Macbeth. Definitely worth a watch by fans.

Total Recall - A Review

1.5 Stars - Bad

So remember that really cool film with Arnold Schwarzanegger called Total Recall? well this is that film if it sucked...

The plot isn't as tight or interesting as the original, the action isn't as much fun as the original, there are no mutants, other than the three breasted hooker, but when she's the only mutant it makes no sense because why is she a mutant? There's no Mars, it isn't an 18 and therefore can't go as all out as the original did with the gory effects... in other words the original is way better.

I will praise two things about it, some of the sets had a cool design, not that you could see them most of the time due to lens flare and Bryan Cranston seemed to be having fun and actually put a bit of energy into his role, as little as it was and his hair looked ridiculous. 

Hal in the 80s looks just like Cohagen... coincidence? I think not...

In short, watch the original Total Recall and give this one a wide berth

 

Made In Dagenham - A Review

3 Stars - Okay

Made In Dagenham is a film about women seeking equal pay in the late 60s by going on strike from their local Ford factory. It is nothing particularly special.

This film seems to me to be a more modern attempt to do what Brassed Off did in the 90s, but for women wanting pay. The thing is, in Brassed Off, the workers were losing their jobs and there was absolutely no hope for them. In Made In Dagenham the women's jobs were safe, they had nothing to lose, and with that comes little investment in their struggle.

Also doesn't it somewhat lessen your feminist message if its a man who instigates it all?

That said, the performances are good and there are some funny points and emotional points. But overall I was underwhelmed after having heard such good things about it for it to turn out to be a bit mediocre.

This is what a feminist looks like...

In short, watch Brassed Off... its much better than this.

Shadow Dancer - A Review

3 Stars - Alright

So an emotionally driven, political spy thriller, that's not especially political or spyish...

Shadow Dancer tells the story of a woman forced to report of IRA activities to MI5 or go to prison and never see her son again.

Sadly the politics aren't very well explored and the espionage elements are glossed over. However the emotional family element is done quite well and was enough to keep my interest. Also some of the performances weren't bad.

This might have worked better as a TV series with a bit more time to develop the characters and to explain their actions.

Little Finger and Bill Weasly... go figure...

To sum up, this is okay, but probably not worth the trip to the cinema.

The Bourne Legacy - A Review

2 Stars - Pretty Bad

So the Bourne trilogy was a great series about government agents who were super awesome and intelligent because they worked hard to be super awesome and intelligent. This is about government agents who have been genetically modified and have to take pills to be super awesome and intelligent. Lame.

So this makes the main character seem far less capable than he should do since he's just sort of a junkie dying for a fix.

On top of that the plot wasn't very gripping and the action scenes were weirdly dull... so yeah its pretty bad.

I even look like a homeless Junkie...

To sum up, keep the Bourne Trilogy a Trilogy and skip this.

The Expendables 2 - A Review

4.5 Stars - awesome

So everything that Expendables 1 did wrong, this did right...

The most badass team of badasses in all of badassery are back to take down the evil Jean Claude Van Damme before he can sell plutonium and change the balance of the world.

This film is fun, action packed, violent and bloody. The characters are all a hell of a lot of fun and you enjoy seeing them kick all kinds of bad guy arse. And quite frankly how can you beat a scene with Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Chuck Norris trying to kill Jean Claude Van Damme?

Admit it, you nerdgasmed

In short, totally awesome, well worth a watch.

Pixar Films - best and worst - at this point - till I change my mind

The studio with the little lamp have made some of the best family films of all time, and these are my favourites of them from least favourite to favourite.

13 - Ratatouille

I Know a lot of people like it, I just didn't and don't even know why.

12 - Cars

Not a bad film, but not a great one either, just kind of meh.

11 - Cars 2

A lot more inventive than Cars due to the spy cars and such.

10 - A Bug's Life

Any film company that can have put out a film as fun as Bug's Life as it's 10th best out of 13 must be doing something right.

9 - Brave

Fairy Tale Fun

8 - Finding Nemo

Who doesn't like this film? Filled with all kinds of memorable characters and jokes.

7 - Toy Story 2

A Sequel to one of the best films ever... of course its not quite as good, but that doesn't stop it being excellent.

6 - Toy Story 3

I have my own issues with Toy Story 3 being too depressing, but still I love it.

5 - Monsters, Inc.

Hell of a lot of fun, with some of the most creative monster designs you'll ever see.

4 - The Incredibles

Basically a family friendly version of Watchmen/The Dark Knight Returns, and really bloody good.

3 - Toy Story

The Original and always the best of the Toy Story films, and filled with huge nostalgic value.

 2 - Up

A magnificent adventure story with loveable characters, good comedy and a better love story in 5 minutes than most romance films manage in two hours.

1 - WALL-E

A love story with robots and no dialogue outside of occasional words from the guy who voiced R2D2, then a cool sci-fi world with an environmental message that makes sense and feels natural to the plot? Damn this film is great.

Brave - A Review

4 Stars - Very Good

Pixar have done it again in a wonderful animated fairy tale set in ancient Scotland about a young girl who, through a witches spell, accidentally turns her mother into a bear.

The film has the feel of a traditional Disney fairy tale film but with Pixar level animation. The story is very nice, the characters are all very well rounded and likeable and the animation is some of Pixar's best, absolutely gorgeous to look at and detailed in so many ways.

This film also has a tremendous cast to it, with Billy Connely, Kelly McDonald, Emma Thompson and Robbie Coltraine just to name a few.

Also there's a splendid short before it called La Luna which is just lovely.

Ted Glen and Co.

In short, well worth a watch, one of the best family films so far this year.

"Just this once, everybody lives" - Doctor Who Series 1: A Review

In 1963 a show came along that changed everything, Doctor Who, a show that has effected people for nearly 50 years... although admittedly with a big gap in the middle due to the cancellation in 1989, however in 2005 it was brought back by Russel T. Davies, who trust me I will talk about somewhere down the line.

For those who don't know Doctor Who tells the story of The Doctor, a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey who travels through time and space in his TARDIS, which stands for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space. He also invariably travels with companions. Being a Time Lord gives The Doctor the ability to regenerate when dying, meaning that when an actor playing The Doctor is ready to leave the show they can bring in a new one, however there can only be 13 Doctors in total.

The series begins with The Doctor, now in his ninth incarnation, landing on earth and picking up Rose Tyler, a young girl from London who comes with the baggage of her mother Jackie and her boyfriend Mickey... whose last name I don't think I've ever known. He meets her stopping the Autons, an enemy from the old series, they then travel to the end of the world and Victorian Cardiff, where they meet Charles Dickens they then travel back to London arriving a year after Rose left causing a few awkward scenes and some horrible comic scenes. While there they stop some aliens called the Slitheen, a family from the planet Raxacorricofallipatorious, who hide in human suits. They then go to an underground museum in the future where they meet a Dalek, in an episode that is actually quite brilliant where it seems the Doctor is more of a monster than the Dalek, The Daleks being the Doctor's most iconic and terrifying enemies. Whilst there they pick up a guy called Adam who they take to a television Satellite in the future he tries to send future information back to the present and is sent home, after the Doctor stops an evil alien monster of course. They then go back in time and Rose stops her father dying, causing massive damage to time and a group of people to be trapped in a church, which is saved when Pete, Rose's father, sacrifices himself. They then go to WWII and meet Captain Jack Harkness a time travelling con man with a heart of gold. Also they stop a terrible threat to the human race by reuniting a scared boy with his mother, and saving everyone in the process. Jack joins there travels. They go to present day Cardiff and whilst there they stop one of the Slitheen who survived, and learn about the heart of the TARDIS. They then get taken into various pop culture references by the Daleks... it's a bit dumb, but they stop the Dalek emperor by Rose looking into the heart of the TARDIS and the Doctor has to absorb the energy of the time vortex from her to save her, sacrificing his current body to do so. He regenerates into the Tenth Doctor.

All in all it was a strong start to the new series for old and new fans alike, it had a lot to offer, some creative stories, The Doctor was a fascinating character, even if Rose wasn't, and you could actually feel the weight of his many years through a wonderful performance by Christopher Eccleston.

But there are problems with it. The main being Rose Tyler, she is an irritating, selfish, whiny bitch. Take for example her relationship with Mickey, she leaves him to run off with some strange man then when in a later episode he tells her he's seeing someone else she acts like he's in the wrong. What a bitch.

Best Adventure: The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances: The Doctor's WWII adventure with inventive ideas emotional wait and writing by Stephen Moffat, the best thing to happen to Doctor Who in the reboot.

Worst Adventure: The End Of The World: The villain is a piece of skin voiced by Zoe Wannamaker... need I say more?

In short, a good return to the best sci-fi show in the world.

Judge Dredd - A Review

3.5 Stars - Fun

Judge Dredd in the comics never takes off his helmet, Sylvester Stallone spends roughly 75% of this film not wearing his...

Judge Dredd is a very silly film... probably because it takes itself so seriously. But all the action film cliches are here, the stoic hero, the hot love interest, the annoying comedy sidekick and the scenery chewing villain.

Its not a good film by any stretch of the imagination, but just how over the top it is makes for an enjoyable watch all the same. Also it has Max Von Sydow and gets many points for that.

The Helmet stays on! Even in the shower!

To sum up, I'd say worth a watch if you're into cheesy action films

Ted - A Review

3 Stars - okay

Proof that Marky-Mark is much funnier than an animated Teddy Bear...

This is the first film by Seth Macfarlane, creator of the awful TV show Family Guy... going in my hopes weren't that high, but it was actually quite funny.

There are a lot of jokes that hit the mark, although very few of them from Ted. The real comic stars of the film are Marky-Mark and Sam Jones. That's right people Flash Gordon is in this film!

Well that's weird...

In short, go get Flash Gordon on DVD... oh and watch Ted too I guess...

Total Recall - A Review

5 Stars - Awesome

So Arnold goes to a place called Rekall to have memories implanted in him only to discover they are already there and he's a super secret agent who has to get his ass to Mars so that he can save it, with an oxygen reactor that makes no sense. I'm in.

This is an Arnold film at its very Arnoldiest, there's badass action, cool futuristic designs and awesome one liners, the best being "consider that a divorce" and "screw you!"

Also it is a big question as to whether or not the events of the film are real or are in Arnold's dream, I personally think its a dream, because it would be much more depressing that way. However I like the ambiguity of it.

No! don't make me watch the remake!

To sum up, an awesome film definitely one to watch... if for no other reason than to gawk at the three breasted hooker...

The Aristocrats - A Review

5 Stars - obscenely fascinating

A family, Mother, Father, Son, Daughter and cute dog walk into a talent agents office and the Father says "have we got an act for you?" so the talent agent says "okay what is it?" and the father says "we'll show you" then if I were to continue the few people do read my blog would leave out of the horrific nature of the joke... but suffice to say they do an act involving as many horrible things as the person telling it can think of, including rape, bestiality, scatology, necrophilia, any number of bodily fluids, and if you feel like it a tap-dance. The agent then says "well what the hell do you call an act like that?" and the father says "the aristocrats"

This is a documentary about that joke and the various ways people have of telling it and its cultural significance between comedians.

The stories are obscene and to be honest more often than not the joke isn't funny. But it is really interesting, and normally I don't like humour based entirely on vulgarity, but the aristocrats joke makes it a challenge to see if you can think of one... its amazing.

Topped off with some very big name comedians like Robin Williams, Sarah Silverman, Whoopi Goldberg, the cast of South Park and, the absolute master of the joke, Gilbert Gottfried this is a very fun documentary... that may leave emotional scars.

"They might have to clean this up for TV"

To sum up, those with a sick fascination about the boundaries of offensive humour, give it a watch

Prince Of Persia Retrospective: The Forgotten Sands

So, people didn't really like the Prince Of Persia reboot, so Ubisoft decided to go back to the Sands of Time Prince, and make a story bridging the gap between the first two games. I was excited for a return to one of my favourite characters. However the result kind of sucked.

The Prince has been sent to his brother Malik's kingdom to learn how best to rule... or something... he arrives to find the kingdom at war with an invading army. The Prince journeys through the kingdom and finds Malik, and the two head towards Solomon's treasure vault, where Malik uses a mystical artefact to unleash the army of Solomon, which promises a soldier for every grain of the desert sand. The army, of course, turns out to be evil and not put there to help the city under peril, but to stop them from destroying the world. The artefact gets split in two, The Prince getting one half and Malik the other. They are separated and The Prince finds his way to a portal, which takes him to a place reminiscent of the weird life upgrade areas from the first game; there he meets Razia, the last of the Djinn who tells him that unleashing solomon's army has released and unspeakable evil in the form of Ratash, a powerful Ifrit and that the only way to stop him is to reunite the two halves of the artefact. She also gives him the power to rewind time to assist him on his quest. He sets out to find Malik who is absorbing the power of the sand creatures of Solomon's army and as a result is becoming paranoid and doesn't believe The Prince, he runs away not giving The Prince his half. The Prince returns to Razia, who gives him the power to freeze water to help his journey, he once again tries to find Malik, who again won't help him and has absorbed even more power. This time Razia gives him a flight type power. The Prince finds his way to Ratash, who he fights and eventually Malik kills, however his energy goes into Malik, destroying the artefact and turning Malik into Ratash. The Prince returns to Razia who tells him he will have to kill Malik to save the world and tells him to journey to the city of the Djinn for a magical sword, he goes and finds the place in ruins so Razia gives him the power to rebuild areas that had previously fallen away from the result of time. The Prince finds the sword and sets out to find Malik, who he eventually fights and has to kill. This saves the world, but also makes him lose his connection to the Djinn and seemingly kills Razia.

There is a big reason this game was such a disappointment. The film. Ubisoft clearly rushed out the game to tie in with the film and as a result it is too short and just feels half arsed. The other big reason is the gameplay changes.

The fluid combat is gone replaced by a blocky uncomfortable style that just doesn't feel right, given the previous games in this series. They changed the way you recover health, now its pickups whereas before it was drinking from fountains. The rewind time and wall run buttons were different, which was just confusing. But worst of all was the addition of RPG elements. These added nothing, and felt unwelcome, Prince of Persia is not an RPG and as such adding in a level up system just feels completely wrong.

However, the graphics are absolutely gorgeous, especially with the huge amounts of enemies you get in areas, though they lack in variation, and the usual sweeping vistas that are such a staple of the series. And the new powers for platforming, except for the dumb flying one, are actually quite good, making for some fast paced exciting sections.

The story is... okay... its too short and isn't hugely involving, but the relationship between The Prince and Malik is actually quite good.

To sum up, this is a sad way to end my favourite series in all of gaming, The Prince of Persia deserved better.