Pain and Gain - A Review

4 Stars - Good

... I ... I don't quite know how to say this, but... I liked this Michael Bay film...

To clarify, this is a ridiculous, over the top story, so I guess it makes sense that it was told by such a ridiculous, over the top director.

Marky Mark and the Rock are gloriously funny as the two leads, but also manage to come off as almost sympathetic in their attempts to make their lives better.

Totally a true story

In short, I never thought I'd say this, but worth a watch

Elysium - A Review

2.5 Stars - Meh

So, privatised healthcare is bad and action is shaky and poorly shot...

This is one of those films that thinks it is clever just because it is trying to talk about a social issue in a sci-fi setting. But that is nothing new and here it isn't anything interesting. Just kind of feels like an overly long episode of the Twilight Zone, and not a good one, one of the lesser ones no-one ever really talks about...

I guess the performances are okay, but really the characters aren't much to get invested in. Needs more William Fichtner

some joke about Matt Damon being bald or something...

In short, overblown and not nearly subtle enough. I'd say give it a miss

We're The Millers - A Review

3.5 Stars - Decent

It seems like when Jennifer Aniston goes for the more adult comedies the result is actually fun. This is a pretty strong film with a competent cast who all seem like they're having fun.

A lot of the jokes are solid, the cast all play well off each other and there isn't too much that feels out of place... but why would you cast an actress with a no nudity clause in her contract as a stripper?

yeah, that was a weird choice...

In short, it's fun, I'd say worth a watch

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones - A Review

2 Stars - Mediocre

Yet another of these teenage books to film adaptations that has most likely been watered down to make it a 12a. It is just meh.

It boils down to a checklist of like all the cliches you could fit into this genre, you could downright turn it into a drinking game.

Hey look it's Jared Harris as the British character actor who's too good for this shit

In short, this isn't very good, but it could have been worse, it could have been Twilight...

Two Guns - A Review

4 Stars - Fun

So you want to make a solid action comedy? Then take Denzel and Marky Mark as a double act and throw them into wacky shenanigans. Done.

This is good fun, nothing groundbreaking or overly complex. Just good actors having fun.

Great double act

In short, fun and worth a watch.

Planes - A Review

1 Star - Lazy

So... this is a film I guess. Not much to say, everyone knew it would be awful, it's just Cars, with planes, and no character arcs.

There is no excuse for this film to be so lazy, much as Cars and Cars 2 are bad films at least they had some interesting visuals and the characters went through arcs. Here there's just a crop duster who wants to race and within 15 minutes or so he's a racer, then the rest is just stuff, then he wins. The end.

Oh and racist stereotypes too, don't forget those

In short, this is bad, don't see it.

Kick-Ass 2 - A Review

3.5 Stars - Okay

Kick-Ass was a big surprise when it came out. It was violent and crass, but had enough sincerity behind its ideas and enough heart in its characters to elevate it into something greater than its source material. Kick-Ass 2 on the other hand is missing  a lot of that.

Mark Millar's comic Kick-Ass 2 is dark, vulgar and just plain nasty and the film somewhat follows suit although from what I can gather a lot of stuff has been toned down it still breaks out unneeded levels of violence and shock deaths that are just nasty and don't fit with tone set by the first film, which had similar levels of violence but pulled them off in a more cartoonish manner.

The performances are all top notch and I would give some particular note to Jim Carrey, who through some prosthesis and putting on an accent is all but unrecognisable as Colonel Stars and Stripes and though he has a small role it's a fairly memorable one.

If you even mention the penguins I will club you

In short, I'd say worth a watch, but fans of the first film might be slightly dissapointed

The Lone Ranger - A Review

1 Star - Awful

This film shits on The Lone Ranger. Figuratively when Tonto tells him to never say Hiyo Silver Away. Also literally when he gets dragged through a pile of horse shit.

I've not seen the classic Lone Ranger films, and the only reason this film would get me to would be to see if there was actually something fun their once.

This film is boring, it isn't funny, the characters are joyless and it doesn't much seem to like the Lone Ranger. But then again this isn't a film about the Lone Ranger. It's about Johnny Depp as a racist stereotype of a Native American. Seriously, how is this okay? He is in red face and talking in fractured English. This is surely offensive.

Well personally I can't see the difference...

In short, let's stop lining Johnny Depp's pockets for playing the same character continuously shall we?

A Non-Trekkie's Perspective - Star Trek Series 2

So, having watched and enjoyed the first series of Star Trek I was very keen to get into the second. First thing I noticed was a slightly different opening credits with DeForest Kelley now billed as part of the starring cast. Which is wonderful to see as he is often one of the highlights of any given episode.

Series 2 Episode 1: Amok Time

The series started very strongly with Amok Time. In this episode Spock reached a frenzy of lust that drove him mad and would eventually kill him and had to be taken to Vulcan to meet his pre-arranged mate. He then has to fight Kirk in Mortal Combat and it has the most epic battle music ever. This was a strong start as it revealed new information about the Vulcans and put Kirk and Spock's friendship as the main focus of the episode.

The next largely memorable episode was Mirror, Mirror wherein Kirk and the landing party are transported to a mirror universe where the Federation is evil and Spock has a beard. This gave the cast a good chance to play around with their characters and let us see them in different ways.

For some reason the one episode they chose to do a follow up to from the previous series is perhaps the worst one of series 1. I, Mudd sees the Enterprise crew once again meet Harry Mudd, this time on a planet with robots set to serve them, who will perhaps not let them leave. This was surprisingly good and fun considering the tripe it was a follow up to.

Series 2 Episode 8: I, Mudd

Other episodes I would definitely say are worth talking about include Obsession where Kirk is Captain Ahab in the first of, what I'm lead to believe, will be many Moby Dick analogues in Star Trek. This gave William Shatner a chance to do something different with Kirk, making us question his reliability as a result of his obsession.

Then The Trouble With Tribbles offers a nice comedic episode where the ship becomes overrun with adorable balls of fluff who multiply ridiculously quickly, but are really "no Tribble at all"...

By far the best episode of the series, however, is Patterns of Force wherein Kirk, Spock and Bones find themselves on a planet that has somehow modeled itself after Nazi Germany. This was a good mystery, an interesting look at the characters and actually gave something of a balanced look at Nazi Germany as actually having some good traits before the madness sets in and it leads to deaths.

Series 2 Episode 21: Patterns of Force

Overall I am still enjoying Star Trek, however I felt the second series was slightly less impressive than the first as I seem to remember less of the episodes, however the ones that I do remember are top notch and really make up for some of the less memorable ones. I very much look forward to continuing on into Series 3.

Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa - A Review

5 Stars - Hilarious

Steven Coogan has now been playing Alan Partridge since the mid 90s. He shows no signs of getting bored of him and quite frankly why would he? Alan Partridge is great.

This film does something I very much enjoy, takes a big dramatic action idea for a film, place taken under siege, one man has to go in and save the hostages, and sets it in a small English town, making it hilarious.

The performances are all top notch, the writing is perfect and I was laughing pretty much the whole way through. Just great fun.

Remember, keep it light.

In short, hilarious. A Must see.