Saturday, 29 September 2012

Looper - A Review

5 Stars - Brilliant


Looper tells story of Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), a Looper; Loopers are specialised assassins who kill targets sent back in time from the future by gangsters until their future self is sent back and they kill them, closing the loop. One day Joe's future self (Bruce Willis) is sent back and escapes, now Joe must track himself down before he's killed by his fellow loopers.

The time travel elements are well handled and lead to some very creative moments that I wouldn't dare spoil. The action is great, minimal and not overly flashy, but at the same time very visceral and real, and wonderfully shot so that you can see everything.

The performances are as strong as you would expect from a cast with Joseph Gordon Levitt and Bruce Willis headlining. But the real star of this film is the writer/director Rian Johnson who has created a magnificent world and a really powerful story that, despite actually seeming smaller than you might expect is a wonderful character piece as well as a sci-fi, action epic.

Intelligent time travel and a steak? This movie has everything...
In short, fantastic and absolute must see.

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Killing Them Softly - A Review

4.5 Stars - Beautiful


Killing Them Softly is a gangster film that is also a political allegory, though not being a very politically minded person I didn't quite get it, but it can be overlooked as the film is just magnificent.

The performances are all great, especially Brad Pitt and James Gandolfini, who in my opinion steals the film.

The scenes are all very quiet and played out for what often feels like uncomfortably long despite the film being fairly short. It gives you an unusual feeling as the film flies by but the scenes all take as much time as they need.

The gangster elements are vicious and feel very realistic, with notable visceral scenes being a beating and any of the killings.

Even Brad Pitt seems swept up by the charisma
In short, a great film, well worth a watch.

Savages - A Review

1.5 Stars - Crap


So this film sucks, I mean really sucks. Its boring, the main characters are detestable, the supporting characters are equally detestable and its way too long.

The film does all its exposition through narration by Blake Lively which is poorly written and as soon as she says the line "just because I'm telling this story doesn't mean I'm alive at the end of it" anyone with a cynical enough mind like mine will know she's not going to die. Then the end comes and it looks like the main three characters and the two villains die in a shootout, then it pulls a Clue ending and says that's how it could have happened, but this is what did happen and no-one dies and no-one learns any kind of lesson. It is such a cop-out to an already terrible film.

I don't know how they expected us to sympathise with the main characters when they don't ever seem remotely kind or good, at least Salma Hayek was trying to repair her relationship with her daughter.

Benicio Del Toro in Savages
Maybe they should have got Danny Trejo...
In short, don't see this it sucks. Hard.

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns - Part 1 - A Review

4.5 Stars - Pretty Damn Good


Dark Knight Returns part 1 is an adaptation of the first two chapters of the story of the same name by Frank Miller. I should start out by saying that I have read that story and I like elements of it, but as a whole I think its not very good. The film however is.

The main things to be noted are that the animation style is very stylised and interesting to look at, bringing the look of the comic to life; the voice acting is superb with Peter Weller making a fantastic Batman and they don't skimp on any of the dark themes that the book had.

A lot of material is cut from the book, chief amongst them being Batman's inner monologue and a lot of the news footage. This is to the films credit since it feels a lot better without them.

how can you mess with Batman when he's also Robo-Cop?
In short, a good film, I'll be interested to see if part 2 can keep it up.

Friday, 21 September 2012

"My ultimate victory, the destruction of reality itself"... Doctor Who - Series 4


First things first this series had to introduce yet another new assistant given Freema Agyeman's departure, and the chosen character was bringing back Catherine Tate's character from The Runaway Bride Donna Noble.

To begin with there was a Children in Need short called Time Crash where The Doctor met his former self, Fifth Doctor, Peter Davison, and there was much happiness and fan boy squeeing. This year's Christmas special was Voyage of The Damned featuring the Doctor and Kylie Minogue on the space Titanic in an adventure that is a strong contender for worst Doctor Who serial of all time. The Doctor then meets up with Donna again in Partners In Crime as they stop some living fat with an evil matron... its as dumb as it sounds. Then its off to ancient Pompeii for The Fires of Pompeii where The Doctor has to cause the eruption of Vesuvius to save the world. Then they go to The Planet of The Ood where they learn of the horrible mistreatment of Ood, from Ood Sigma and set them free from their slavery, defeating the evil Tim McInnerney. Then they are called back to London by Martha in The Sontaran Stratagem/The Poison Sky where they stop the Sontarans and The Doctor meets Donna's grandfather Wilf. Then The Doctor, Donna and Martha get taken to a futuristic war and the Doctor has a female clone made from himself in The Doctor's Daughter and it totally sucks. Then much fun is had as The Doctor and Donna help Agatha Christie solve a murder mystery in The Unicorn and The Wasp. Our heroes then travel to the biggest library in the universe in Silence In The Library/Forest of The Dead , where they meet River Song, who knows an alarming amount about The Doctor and stop the deadly Vashta Nerada, shadow monsters, and River gives her life to save the day so that The Doctor will live to take her on all her adventures in the future. Then we have a Donna-lite episode called Midnight where The Doctor and a group of people are trapped on a bus with a woman possessed by an unknown creature in a really tense and emotional episode. Then we have a Doctor-lite episode in Turn Left where we see what would happen if Donna had never met The Doctor and there is an entire alternate universe created around this, its good, except Rose comes back to help her and to set up a lame cliff hanger by having Donna tell The Doctor bad wolf in a reference back to series 1. The finale two parter is The Stolen Earth/Journey's End where The Daleks, led by their creator, Davros steal the Earth and put it in The Medusa Cascade as part of a series of stolen planets used to make a bomb to destroy reality. The Doctor is nearly killed, pouring his regeneration energy into his hand that was cut off in The Christmas Invasion and then when Donna touches it there is a biological meta crisis and a second half human Doctor is born. teamed up with Martha, Mickey, Sarah-Jane, Captain Jack, Rose and Rose's mum, Sarah Jane's son and the surviving members of Torchwood three (long story) The Doctor, Donna and the DoctorDonna defeat the Daleks and return the Earth to its rightful place, they then return Rose and Jackie to the parallel Earth with the DoctorDonna, safe in the knowledge she can never return and is stuck with a lover who is half made of Catherine Tate... Sadly Donna's collision with the Doctor's D.N.A. means she has to have her memories of him erased, and can never remember the Doctor or she'll die.


Once more David Tennant gamely trudges through the mess of Davies' era Who, and manages to bring some good emotional moments to the forefront of the show. Also his meeting Peter Davison in Time Crash though not technically part of the series is terrific.

Catherine Tate really surprised me by giving an actually terrific performance as Donna, she was funny, clever, had an attitude and never once fancied The Doctor. Its just a shame that considering they spent many times saying how she was the most important person in the Universe she spends 3 episodes in a row sharing with Martha, then two with River Song where her actions contribute nothing, then Midnight where she basically isn't in it, then Turn Left where Davies clearly thought Rose was more important and then the finale sharing with so many people she barely gets to do anything. An actual interesting companion and she got shabby treatment in favour of less interesting ones.

Julian Blech as Davros deserves a mention as he was downright terrifying and brought a lot of energy to the role.

My favourite adventure this series was Midnight and much as it feels weird to pick a Davies episode as my favourite, I can overlook my bias when the episode is this good. But did he really have to make Leslie Sharp's character another Lesbian? (More on Davies PC agenda to come)

My least favourite is without a doubt Voyage of The Damned for just all around awfulness. I really hate that one. But I also want to mention that the finale two parter is pretty dreadful too, with fa too many companions stuck in just because Davies was going to be leaving soon and wanted to shove them in and a plot that breaks the first rule of science fiction by not making any kind of scientific sense. If you put the Earth in another place in space without a sun we'd all die from cold, and if the Earth were to vanish the moon wouldn't stay where it was it would hurtle off into space and if the TARDIS translates all languages why did the Doctor have to speak Judoon? And for the same reason why did Martha have to speak German? And why were the Daleks speaking German? That makes no sense.


In short, a rare shining light in the Davies era, but still annoying in plenty of places.

Sunday, 16 September 2012

The Sweeney - A Review

3 Stars - Too Long


So The Sweeney is based on an old 70s cop show, I'm pretty sure all it takes from it is some names...

This film has entertaining points, but at just under two hours it is a long film that could have done with about half an hour and a pointless internal affairs sub-plot being cut from it.

The other main problem with this is it isn't believable that they could get away with how they act in this film, I know it's meant to be that they act a bit beyond the law to achieve results, but in any semblance of reality their unit would have been shut down years ago for corruption and breaking the law...

Well Carter, at least they'll get rid of that awful Orange advert...
In Short, probably give this a miss, and if you really want to see it wait for T.V.

Premium Rush - A Review

3.5 Stars, okay

Premium Rush Poster 2

Premium Rush tells the story of Wilee (Joseph Gordon Levitt), a bike messenger in New York who is given the job of delivering a seemingly harmless envelope, but is soon swept up into business he doesn't quite understand being chased by corrupt cop Detective Monday (Michael Shannon). 

I found the film to be a little bit dull, though the sequences with the bikes going through traffic at high speed are done well, there's just very little variation in it. That said Michael Shannon is great, putting in a performance that is both funny and intimidating all at once.

I'm better than the rest of this film put together...
In short, I'd wait for this one to get to T.V.

Paranorman - A Review

5 Stars - Superb


I went into this film with low expectations based on a trailer that didn't exactly blow me away, but within the first few seconds I was hooked. This film has everything, creative visuals, funny jokes, scary horror elements and an incredibly touching emotional side to it.

It tells the story of a young boy called Norman who can see and talk to the spirits of dead people, as a result of this people think he's a freak and he's an outcast at school, bullied by older kids. He discovers that he is the only one who can prevent a witch's curse upon his town that brings zombies upon them. This story is simple enough, but has a very intelligent and thought provoking turn to it, and most importantly of all it doesn't treat its audience like idiots.

To go into a personal point, I was horribly bullied when I was young and it hurt, this film captured that perfectly in a way that struck a real chord with me and I greatly admire the film makers for so perfectly capturing such a painful experience.

Its not all a serious look at the hurt of bullying, its also super fun and a little scary
In short an absolute must watch due to its creativity, intelligence and just for being so much fun.

Friday, 14 September 2012

"You Are Not Alone"... Doctor Who - Series 3


The departure of Billie Piper led to the need of a new assistant for the Doctor, so who did they get to replace this attractive girl from modern day London? Freema Agyeman Another attractive girl from modern day London... sigh...

The beginning of this series is the Christmas special The Runaway Bride wherein The Doctor, with the help of Catherine Tate defeats a giant spider monster. The series then starts proper with Smith and Jones where the Doctor meets Martha Jones, his new companion in a hospital on the moon with Rhino Men called the Judoon who are like space police... it's not anywhere near as cool as it sounds. They then travel to the past and meet William Shakespeare in The Shakespeare Code where they defeat aliens and learn the power of words. Then its off back to New Earth for Gridlock where they get stuck in a traffic jam... it sucks, but in the midst of it all The Face of Boe gave the Doctor a glimpse of his future, saying "you are not alone". Then our heroes are off to 30s New York for Daleks In Manhattan/Evolution Of The Daleks where a Dalek merges with a human and it sucks... oh and there's a musical number... because when you think Doctor Who you think musical number... Following that nonsense the Doctor takes Martha home only to get mixed up in an adventure with a bad CGI Mark Gatiss monster in The Lazarus Experiment. They then head to a spaceship that was heading towards a living sun in 42 an episode unfortunately similar in design to the devil episodes from the previous series. The Doctor then takes Martha to the past where he turns himself human and lives as a school teacher and falls in love with Jessica Hynes in Human Nature/The Family Of Blood and its actually really good. Then it's a Doctor-lite episode Blink about a young woman who must return the Doctor's TARDIS to him whilst trying not to get killed by The Weeping Angels, statues that move when you're not looking at them. Then we head towards the finale three parter Utopia/The Sound Of Drums/Last Of The Time Lords in the first part The Doctor, Martha and a returned Captain Jack go to the end of the universe and meet a group of people who want to make it to Utopia with the help of Proffesor Yana, whose name turns out to be an acronym for You Are Not Alone... which is dumb, he turns out to be the Master, one of The Doctor's deadliest foes, turned into a human in the same way The Doctor was earlier this series; he regenerates into John Simm and steals the TARDIS leaving our heroes trapped at the end of the universe, but not before The Doctor makes it so he can only go to earth. Thanks to Jack's chekov's wrist watch they can time travel back to earth, where they discover the Master is the prime minister, who unleashes and army of creatures called Toclafene, who are actually the humans who went to Utopia twisted to the Master's ends, and he takes over the world and turns the Doctor into and old man and later Dobby. Martha travels the world telling people to think about The Doctor and this somehow fixes him, the Master's wife then shoots him and he refuses to regenerate, so he can defeat the Doctor. They then Superman end it and reverse time so the Master never took over, Martha leaves, The Doctor burns the Master's body and then his ring falls in an obvious Flash Gordon reference. The end.


David Tennant continued to shine as The Doctor despite some of the dross he was given to work with in this series, He deserves particular credit for Human Nature/Family Of Blood for giving quite a moving performance.

Freema Agyeman made history as the Doctor's only black companion to date. She's also shit. Martha just spends the whole time making goo goo eyes at the Doctor and whining because he doesn't notice her. Its boring and not remotely compelling.

John Simm as the Master is great, although once again the script is not his friend, having to dance to the scissor sisters and often act like a bit of an idiot. That said he gives a performance that surpasses the bad script and still manages to be entertaining and fairly intimidating throughout... except for when he's dancing of course...

My favourite adventure this series was Blink partly because its a clever, scary story, partly because it made a Doctor-lite episode work, but mainly because it invented the phrase wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff...

My least favourite adventure was The Daleks In Manhattan/Evolution Of The Daleks for just being generally awful.


In short this series is the worst one since the revival (not counting the specials, I'll get to them). It started badly, picked up a bit in the middle and ended with them making it so nothing happened, meaning there are absolutely no consequences and no lessons to be learned. It sucks.


Wednesday, 12 September 2012

This Is Spinal Tap - A Review

11 Stars - get it?


As I'm sure you all know, This Is Spinal Tap is a mock documentary film about Britain's Loudest band, Spinal Tap. This film is clever, has wonderful characters, largely improvised dialogue and is very, very funny.

The performances make the film truly great and the many memorable scenes will not fail to bring a smile to your face. Be it the amps going up to eleven, their Stonehenge model almost being crushed by dwarves, or going through airport security you won't be forgetting this film any time soon.

It's so black it's like how much more black could it be? And the answer is none, none more black
In Short one of those films you should definitely see before you die.

Sunday, 9 September 2012

Lawless - A Review

3.5 Stars - Okay, with good bits


So Tom Hardy, Shia LaBeouf and some other guy are bootlegger brothers in the 30s and they have to deal with the evil prohibition agent Guy Pearce... oh and Gary Oldman is in it too I guess...

This film is pretty good, but I wasn't exactly overwhelmed by anything except Guy Pearce's performance which was actually really intimidating, he absolutely owned this film; plus he got to beat up Shia LaBeouf, which is an absolute pleasure to see.

I am going to kill you and look good doing it.
In short, worth a watch, but probably wait for it to come on telly

Dredd - A Review

4.5 Stars - Badass


So remember that shitty Judge Dredd film with Sylvester Stallone? Well expunge that from you mind, sit back and enjoy this new, badass Dredd, who within the opening ten minutes is better than the original film.

Dredd is an epic action film with Dredd and mutant rookie Judge Anderson, whose mutation is psychic powers, get locked in a 200 story tower block by Cersei Lannister and Avon Barksdale and their army of thugs. Sure its the plot of the Raid, but it is badass. Hell even the 3D is pretty good, especially in the slow motion sequences.

Urban is a great Dredd, he is completely unphased by even the worst things and kills people in style. Olivia Thirlby is also great as Anderson, she makes a good audience proxy and also gains a lot of strength throughout the film.

A Lannister always repays her debts... bitch.
To sum up, a great film, well worth a watch.

Saturday, 8 September 2012

"Maybe that's what the devil is in the end, an idea"... Doctor Who - Series 2


So following the departure of Christopher Eccleston from the role of The Doctor the ole went to David Tennant, who brought a very different take to the role. Also Billie Piper continued on as Rose, much to my annoyance.

To start Tennant's time as The Doctor there was a short filmed specially for Children in Need where The Doctor became accustomed to his new body then sent the TARDIS crashing towards earth, where The Christmas Invasion takes off and the earth is invaded by an alien race called the Sicorax, The Doctor sleeps for the majority of it then fights a guy in a sword fight and loses a hand, which he grows back because he was still full of regeneration energy. Then he and Rose went to New Earth to discover that Cassandra is still alive and it kinda sucks, they move onto Victorian Scotland in Tooth and Claw where they meet Queen Victoria and a werewolf, upon their defeat of the monster and leaving Queen Victoria sets up the Torchwood Institute. The Doctor is then reunited with Sarah-Jane Smith in School Reunion where they defeat Anthony Head and his army of bat creatures and Mickey begins travelling with them as they set off to revolutionary France... on a futuristic spaceship in The Girl In The Fireplace. Then they crash on a parallel earth and witness the creation of a parallel version of the Cybermen (which I refer to as Cybusmen given their creator) in Rise Of The Cybermen/The Age Of Steel and at the end of the story Mickey takes the place of his alternate world counterpart, finally doing the sensible thing and leaving Rose. The Doctor and Rose then go to 1953 in The Idiot's Lantern and stop an entity living in T.V.s... anyway they then go to a planet orbiting a black hole in The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit and come up against The Devil... as you do. Following this is the first Doctor-lite episode Love and Monsters which sucks... bad. Then the Doctor and Rose come to 2012 in Fear Her to see the Olympic Torch and save a little girl from an alien with the power of love. Then in the series finale Army Of Ghosts/Doomsday The Daleks and the Cybusmen meet in the middle of Torchwood and fight, The Doctor saves the day, but in the process Rose is sucked into the parallel world never to return... and there was much rejoicing.


David Tennant as The Doctor was a good choice, he gave the role a lot of dignity, but still made him fun. That said I think he's a step down after Eccleston, the main strength of his Doctor is his ability to snap from silly to serious at a moment's notice giving The Doctor occasional menace.

Billie Piper as Rose... I hate this character, she is so selfish and doesn't care about anyone but herself at all, its just awful. I'm glad she left the show.

Overall I'd say this series is quite strong, the return of Sarah-Jane was an inspired touch and Stephen Moffat delivered his usual belter of an episode, but my favourite adventure this series is The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit for the sheer guts it took to do a story with the Devil in it, an actually interesting take on where the idea of the Devil came from, also the introduction of the Ood, one of the most commonly recurring elements of the revived show.

My least favourite adventure this series is Love and Monsters. Designed as a showcase for the winner of a design a monster competition for Blue Peter this episode saw Marc Warren as a blogger talking about experiences with the Doctor, in itself not a terrible idea, but it is awful. There is nothing good in it at all.


To sum up, this is a pretty good series and the Start of David Tennant as The Doctor, but also a step further into Russel T. Davies induced mediocrity...

Monday, 3 September 2012

"I'm in the empire business"... Breaking Bad Series 5 - Part 1


Breaking Bad returns with the beginnings of the end for Walter White, this is the first half of the final series and it is as excellent as you would come to expect from this show. Following the death of Gus Fring the market for meth is left wide open, Walt decides to fill it, going into an uneasy partnership with Jesse and Mike, with Mike only involved to preserve the interests of several members of Gus' crew who are held in prison in the D.E.A. investigation. Skyler is now terrified of Walt and carries out a desperate gambit to keep Walter Jr. and Holly safe from Walt. A new business deal is made with an associate of Gus, a number of complications are brought in by a new member of Walt's crew. The series ends on a huge revelation for Hank.

There is a lot happening in a short space of time here, but the writers pull it off excellently. Every scene is fantastic and they all add up to the emotional climaxes of the half series. The best episode this series is without a doubt episode 5 "Dead-Freight" with a hugely exciting sequence in which Walt and Jesse rob a train of methylamine.


Walt: Walt has come a long way since series 1, the once quiet, boring man who wrote 'murder is wrong' as a reason not to kill a man shrugs off the murder of a child as though it were nothing. From the start of the series he manipulates Jesse even more than usual, he is confrontational to Mike, the one man who sees through all his lies, ending in a hugely traumatic scene. His ego is getting bigger and bigger, he declares he wants an empire and will do anything to keep it; his growing ego also leads to far more carelessness with his money, buying himself and Jr. flashy cars just because he can. He pushes everyone away and it will no doubt lead to his downfall. At the end he is a success, but there is nowhere to go but down when his biggest secret is discovered.

Jesse: Jesse is once again put through the ringer, he feels a huge amount of guilt over trying to kill Walt towards the end of series 4. He breaks it off with his girlfriend based on Walt's manipulation only to discover Walt never cared. He comes up with a brilliant plan to rob a train and not hurt anyone, but then has to witness a child dying before his eyes. This is the final straw, he wants out of the meth business, he parts with Walt not caring if he gets the money he's owed or not. At the end of the series he is terrified of Walt killing him, but is left with the money he's owed an emotional wreck.

Mike: Mike plays a much bigger part this series than ever before, being an equal partner to Walt and Jesse. He is only involved because the D.E.A. took away the hazard pay of several members of Gus' crew, including two million dollars he had left to his Granddaughter, the only person he really cares about. He hates working with Walt and is the first one to want out, and when he receives the money he's owed his choice of delivery man gets it taken away again. With the D.E.A. on his trail he decides to flee the country, and then by refusing to assist Walt and letting him know just how little a man he is, Walt shoots him and he dies, killed by the man who has ruined his life.

Skyler: Skyler is scared of Walt, she knows he's dangerous and is beginning to realise just how much. She goes through a period of not knowing what to do where she seems almost comatose. Then, on the night of Walt's 51st birthday she comes up with a plan. She walks into the pool and fakes a suicide attempt, this allows her to get the kids sent to Hank and Marie's, i.e. away from Walt. It finally dawned on me this series that every time Skyler seemed so annoying and grating before was for one simple reason; she was right. She was the one person saying no to Walt, though now she can't do that, she is powerless. The series ends with her finally given what she wanted, Walt out of the business, but with what's on the horizon her involvement will no doubt come to light.

Hank: Hank has been proved right, no-one believed what he said about Gus, but now he's a hero. He is rapidly promoted to A.S.A.C. of his department, which he finds somewhat difficult to adjust to, not being able to go after the case he wants to. He finds his investigation into Gus' operation blocked at every turn, Mike drops all his tails and the 9 guys in prison won't talk. Towards the end he looks as though he is just about to get some results. Then Walt has the guys killed, he seems defeated telling Walt that he wishes he didn't have to chase monsters. The series ends with Hank in the White's bathroom, he discovers a book of Walt Whitman's poetry left to Walt by Gale, he finally pieces together that Walt is Heisenberg, the man he's been looking for all along.

Saul: Saul plays a somewhat smaller part than usual, he is clearly afraid of Walt, but he's not able to get out. He assists Mike in his troubles with the D.E.A. but apart from that he is largely comic relief. 

Marie: Marie plays a less significant role this series and the plot that doesn't involve her takes centre stage with little time for other matters. That said she still provides some much needed comic relief and still shows a great deal of emotional trauma surrounding Skyler's breakdown.

Walter Jr. Walter Jr. is once again being referred to a Flynn, which seems unusual to me, but I guess since the big fear of his parents splitting up is over he wants his own identity again. He is largely used as a device to distance Skyler from Walt by her seeing how much he loves him, and knowing how dangerous it will be. He also goes into anger at the idea of not being treated with enough respect to even be told why he has to live at his Aunt and Uncle's for an indefinite period of time.


In short, the best show keeps getting better and leaves with a cliffhanger that will have huge repercussions come next summer, when it all comes to an end.