White House Down - A Review

2 Stars - Meh

So Roland Emerich has ditched the cast of thousands disaster film in favour of a medocre action film unfortunate enough to come out in the same year as the far superior Olympus has Fallen.

Terrorists take over the White House and it's up to Channing Tatum to save President Jaime Foxx, also some overly complicated plot about coups and nuclear launch codes and it's all just a bit meh.

It's not all bad though, James Woods is a fairly compelling villains who actually puts a lot into his part and the rest of the villains are kind of fun, just the heroes who are dull and only the little girl who I actually severely disliked. Not a good child actor.

Try as he might, Channing Tatum is no John McClane

In short, give it a miss, watch Olympus has fallen instead

Pain and Gain - A Review

4 Stars - Good

... I ... I don't quite know how to say this, but... I liked this Michael Bay film...

To clarify, this is a ridiculous, over the top story, so I guess it makes sense that it was told by such a ridiculous, over the top director.

Marky Mark and the Rock are gloriously funny as the two leads, but also manage to come off as almost sympathetic in their attempts to make their lives better.

Totally a true story

In short, I never thought I'd say this, but worth a watch

Elysium - A Review

2.5 Stars - Meh

So, privatised healthcare is bad and action is shaky and poorly shot...

This is one of those films that thinks it is clever just because it is trying to talk about a social issue in a sci-fi setting. But that is nothing new and here it isn't anything interesting. Just kind of feels like an overly long episode of the Twilight Zone, and not a good one, one of the lesser ones no-one ever really talks about...

I guess the performances are okay, but really the characters aren't much to get invested in. Needs more William Fichtner

some joke about Matt Damon being bald or something...

In short, overblown and not nearly subtle enough. I'd say give it a miss

We're The Millers - A Review

3.5 Stars - Decent

It seems like when Jennifer Aniston goes for the more adult comedies the result is actually fun. This is a pretty strong film with a competent cast who all seem like they're having fun.

A lot of the jokes are solid, the cast all play well off each other and there isn't too much that feels out of place... but why would you cast an actress with a no nudity clause in her contract as a stripper?

yeah, that was a weird choice...

In short, it's fun, I'd say worth a watch

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones - A Review

2 Stars - Mediocre

Yet another of these teenage books to film adaptations that has most likely been watered down to make it a 12a. It is just meh.

It boils down to a checklist of like all the cliches you could fit into this genre, you could downright turn it into a drinking game.

Hey look it's Jared Harris as the British character actor who's too good for this shit

In short, this isn't very good, but it could have been worse, it could have been Twilight...

Two Guns - A Review

4 Stars - Fun

So you want to make a solid action comedy? Then take Denzel and Marky Mark as a double act and throw them into wacky shenanigans. Done.

This is good fun, nothing groundbreaking or overly complex. Just good actors having fun.

Great double act

In short, fun and worth a watch.

Planes - A Review

1 Star - Lazy

So... this is a film I guess. Not much to say, everyone knew it would be awful, it's just Cars, with planes, and no character arcs.

There is no excuse for this film to be so lazy, much as Cars and Cars 2 are bad films at least they had some interesting visuals and the characters went through arcs. Here there's just a crop duster who wants to race and within 15 minutes or so he's a racer, then the rest is just stuff, then he wins. The end.

Oh and racist stereotypes too, don't forget those

In short, this is bad, don't see it.